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So we moved into our new house last weekend. I'd post pics but I'm not super-cool like Carolyn so I can't. Also it looks trashy at the moment.

Big question: can we finish moving all our crap out of the old house, clean it, and empty our storage unit by the end of business saturday? I was thinking yes, but since we seem to have now LOST THE KEY to the lock on our storage unit I'm all stressing out about that.

How bout: we finish moving...I get a job...and then we spend a week completely not worrying about anything. Sounds like a vacation plan to me.

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So we were having family night tonight and Vicki and I were having fun, as we occasionally do, by trading a multitude of double-entendres over the heads of our kids. (subject: ice cream. use your imagination). At least half the humor here, of course, is that the smallfolk have no idea what we're doing. Suddenly Sam breaks into the conversation with "I had no idea something so gooey (it may have been goopy) could taste so good" and V and I *cracked up*. Timing was impeccable. Obviously we laughed too much for such an inane and totally, you know, not humorous comment, so he comes up with "Sugar rush?" and we jump all over that excuse. Yes, yes, that's it...we are laughing from the sugar rush.

The silence ensues and I try to shift the conversation off by complaining about how some of that topping stuff that you pour on to the ice cream hadn't frozen yet, despite the prominent advertising on the frong that it "freezes in seconds!". V made the entirely cogent observation that that applies on *cold* ice cream, not ice cream which has had hot fudge poured over it, eminently sensible really. Only Sam looks over at my bowl and goes,

"Oh look, it's hardened!"

Significant glances are traded and the wife and I try desperately, but fail and dissolve in giggles again. We are so, so immature. Or maybe we're *too* mature, now that I think about it.

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Current Mood:
sleepy sleepy
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Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games for failing a drug test. ESPN had a nice ("nice") article on this that summed up my feelings pretty well --



Current Mood:
depressed depressed
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memed from my sister

A Quiz, A Quiz!

What is your salad dressing of choice?

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Macaroni Grill, I think. Olive Garden's a better value but MG has a better Italian atmosphere.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Banana bread. Am I allowed to eat other things on top of this? Or is ONLY this food and nothing else for two weeks? B/c that's a little extreme for any food, I shouldn't wonder.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
sausage & onion. Haven't had it in years though since I'm vegetarian 364 days of the year (excepting my birthday)

What do you like to put on your toast?
strawberry jam.

How many televisions are in your house?
Two, but one is disconnected upstairs.

What color cell phone do you have?
Black and grey. Very nondescript.

Are you right-handed or left-handed?

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Don't think so.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A box of books.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
I've *gone* unconscious from passing out...never *knocked* though.


If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No...I'd probably end up killing people by acting way more recklessly on the days I knew I wasn't going to die.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Ilya? I don't know, I'm pretty happy with my name.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?


how many pair of flip flops do you own?
Just one.

Last time you had a run-in with the cops.
Trapped in a totally unfair speed-trap going to work maybe 2 years ago.

Last person you talked to?
A diabetic LPN at the portland clinic.

Last person you hugged?


Winter, without question.

Thanksgiving. An excuse to cook all day? I'll take it.

Day of the week?
Friday. Survivor day.

October. It's got my birthday, AND falling leaves and temperatures! What's not to love?


Missing someone?
My squeeze?

I'm fine. Just tired from not a ton of sleep last night. No real complaints, though.

What are you listening to?
Some annoying computer game muzak that Jacob left up this morning that's repeating over and over again.

Watching? screen? I just finished watching an episode of Firefly.

Praying for?


First place you went this morning?
To the car to drive my wife to the max station. same old.

What's the last movie you saw?
Full movie? Not sure. I saw part of sw episode III recently. In theaters, Valkyrie.

Do you smile often?
No. But I don't frown either, I generally keep a nondescript, nonexpressive face.

Sleeping alone tonight?
That would be a catastrophe like none the world has ever seen.


Do you always answer your phone?
No. If I don't know the number I frequently wait for them to leave a message.

It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Probably my college buddy Joel...he drunk-dials me sometimes so *shrug*.

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I'm fine with my eye color.

Do you own a digital camera?

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yes. I had 3 goldfish, in a goldfish bowl, and they all died very quickly, and since then I've moved on to pets with more resilience. I would love to get some piranha some day though.

Favorite Christmas song(s):
Ring out wild bells.

What's on your wish list for your birthday?
Since it's on my mind today, I'm still hunting for a book by Brian Leigh Davis called "German Army Uniforms and Insignia, 1933-1945". Um. I guess a set of bagpipes would be nice?

Can you do push ups?

Can you do a chin up?
Yeah. I think I can do 3-5, actually.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Generally excited.

Do you have any saved texts?
I'm too lazy to delete them, so yes.

Ever been in a car wreck?
By which you mean, with another car involved? no.

Do you have an accent?
At the drop of a hat. Anyone who knows me would know that. If you mean an "unconscious" accent, then yes, I have a slight one, but the difference between Vermont and the Midwest everyone's familiar with is really hard to notice unless you know what to look for.

What is the last song to make you cry?
Never cried to a song.

Plans tonight?
Dunno. Will see how it goes. Oh yeah, I'll be finishing a molten core run on WoW but that won't take very long.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
No...even when I was selling books for food money I was reasonably optimistic. Are you allowed to be a cynical optimist? B/c I think that describes me.

Name 3 things you bought yesterday
Yesterday...uhhh...I don't think I really bought anything yesterday.

Have you ever been given roses?

Current worry?
Employment. Same old same old.

Current hate right now?
The Federal Reserve. I blame the economy which is wrecking my life on that.

Met someone who changed your life?

How did you bring in the New Year?
I...don't really remember.

Name three people who might complete this
I actually don't think anyone will. Except maybe mom on the dual pressure of two of her children doing it. But maybe not.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
I made one mistake I would correct; otherwise I think it's been fine.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Actually...I don't think so. High school gf, 7 months, college girlfriend, 6 months. Current girlfriend, 7 months. Unless you count marriage as a continual dating process in which case, yes, by a little bit.

Do you have any tattoos/piercings?

Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
If I'm not then something has gone drastically, terribly wrong.

Does anyone love you?
Yes. What kind of question is that?

Ever had someone sing to you?
Yes. Vicki sung me some songs from her choir list several years ago.

When did you last cry?
Maybe a week and a half ago? Not going to discuss the particulars though.

Do you like to cuddle?

Have you held hands with anyone today?
Not yet, unless you count holding hands with my wife while sleeping (it was past midnight...?)

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?

Do you like pulpy orange juice?
I like it no more, nor no less, than regular orange juice...which is to say, just fine.

What is something your friends make fun of you for?
Sometimes my high school friends would crack jokes about my straitlaced mormonism...but all in good fun. And I recall some of my college friends made comments about my "flatlander" accent before I had assimilated it with my usual Language Chameleon Ability.
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So I had some interesting thoughts on sleeping this morning. One of them, I can't repeat, because it involved things not repeatable on a public forum.

The second involved Pet Sematary. I read this novel by Stephen King over two days this week b/c I'd never read a horror novel all the way through by SK the alleged master of the genre (I got about a third of the way through The Stand and then ran away screaming). And yes, it did, shall we say, severely trouble my sleep for the night in the middle of the two days I read it, and a tiny bit the day after. I think the only positive thing I got out of it wasn't even from it, it was from a South Park parody on it that gave me a shiny new accent to play with. So I can add Maineac to my wide array. That clip (completely clean, save for one "hell", apparently, that you don't have to listen to if you stop the clip after the old guy leaves):

I'll sum up the book this way: Louis, his wife, his daughter, and his toddler son move to Maine where since this is Stephen King, I don't know why anybody in their right mind would do so though I happen to like Maine a lot. Their neighbourly old guy Jud becomes Louis' buddy, and shows them this pet cemetery behind Louis's house that the kids keep up and bury their pets in. When Louis's fam goes to Chicago for Thanksgiving, the daughter's cat gets totally pancaked on the road between Louis and Jud's house, b/c these big semis are always barrelling down it. So Jud takes Louis up past the cemetery to the real cemetery, ie some Micmac burial grounds or summat, as a "favour" b/c Louis being a doctor had saved Jud's wife from a bad heart attack that prolly woulda killed her. And the next day the cat shows up at Louis's house totally alive and...ya know...different. It likes to kill and dismember small animals now, even though it's been neutered and therefore shouldn't be aggressive anymore. Anywhos a couple months later, the toddler wanders into the road and also gets pancaked (apparently this, and also the cat dying, stemmed from a RL incident when the author was in maine, only he actually managed to just barely save his son from that fate). Louis sends his family to chicago again and decides to go dig up his son and bury him in the burial grounds too, despite a cautionary tale from Jud about what happened the last time somebody did that. To wit, in WWII some guy's only son died in Italy, he rezzed him, only it was kind of demonically possessed and eventually he went mad having a demon-son instead of his actual-son, so he shot his son, torched his house, and then shot himself as the house burned down around them. So Louis disregards this warning (it's horror..why *would* he listen?), rezzes his son, who turns out to be all demon-posessed too, and the son steals Louis's doctor scalpel, crosses the road, and with the help of the demon-cat kills Jud for "messing with him" before (b/c Jud was involved in getting him killed when he posessed the guy's son 50 years ago). Anyway Louis's wife comes driving frantically home in the night b/c she senses something's wrong, she goes to visit Jud, and the demon-son does her in too. Louis realises what's afoot so he goes over to Jud's house, kills the cat (again), finds the two bodies, and then kills his son (again) for good. Only his mind snaps-like, and the last chapter is from the viewpoint of one of Louis's friends as he finds Louis carrying his wife into the woods. B/c, and I quote this impeccable logic, "something got into Gage [his son] because I left him too long. This time it'll be different." Presumably b/c he's burying his wife up there right from the get-go? I dunno, I was like, are you flipping crazy? And the answer is, of course, yes. But the epilogue has him playing solitaire in the kitchen and then a hand goes on his shoulder and you hear this gravelly voice go "darling?". End book. The movie I thought ended that a little better, from a clip on youtube I saw they embrace (like ew? you're totally giving tongue to your wife's corpse, basically?) and as they do one of the wife's hands comes back down off her husband's back and reaches to the table to pick up a steak knife. End movie.

Anyway my other thought was a total fantasy about how my sibs and my mom together make 5 people, which is what you need to run an instance in world of warcraft, and I thought, what would the role breakdown be on that? Be a great birthday present, btw, everyone gets a 10-day free trial, we level them to 19-20, then go run dead mines. But that's a side note. Eventually I settled on:

Kev - would be the tank, I think, because he already has one and seems to like it. A paladin.

Mom - would, I rather suspect, despite my desire to force her into a healy role just b/c that sounds natural for a mom figure to do, be a mage, though what spec I'm not sure. Human, though. If she didn't go for magic user in hero's quest like every single time I'd be more inclined to pick something else.

Me - I'd be healing, just b/c it's one of the trickier jobs (though not in dead mines) and whatev. Prolly a shaman.

Dan - which leaves dan as a damage guy of some sort. my HQ recollection is that dan played Thief a lot, which would translate to a rogue, but on the other hand I feel like that might have been due to the nature of the fact that if you played your cards right Thieves could max skill themselves into every skill in that game and Dan just liked to be able to do everything. So on that basis, maybe he'd be more of a hybrid class like a feral druid or a ret paladin.

Ker - I think...a night elf, probably a priest. Though the role that's left is still a damage class which would make her more of a "I'm gonna torment your mind and melt your face like that smarmy nazi scholar guy in raiders of the lost ark with the stupid glasses" kind of shadow priest, or if she'd rather be a healy spec, I'm not entirely sure. I could swap out to a differently specced shammy, or be all druid-like, if she wanted that job, I guess.
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I read this article about porn the other day and thought it was spot-on and just wanted to share it --

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but I forgot to share it when it happened, so --

BOOM! A second 80!

I was hit with a meme about describing your character in a meme. Since Forol is a fire (well mostly) mage, I came up with :

Tiny short person
Wrinkly forehead creased in thought
Burns you to cinders.


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So Vicki and I stopped by the bank on Friday to drop off her check. I get out of the car, Vicki gets out of the car, we walk to the front and onto the sidewalk, and then there's this little "Excuse me." So we turn around and this not-middle-aged-but-not-grandma-old dumpy lady in an equally old and equally ugly dusty black car (think like a creepy lunch lady) goes, "Let's not just pretend like that didn't happen." Vicki and I look at each other, confused, and Vicki probes back with, "Pretend *what* didn't happen?" "You hit my car just now." And I'm getting all alarmed b/c our insurance was on a gap (I'm not sure if it's back yet, actually) and thinking she's talking about me, when I pulled into the spot, but equally, I'm certain since the car was moving, I would have felt it. She must have been responding to our blank looks because she follows up with "When you got out of your car you opened the door right into my car." So Vicki goes back, gamely playing along with this psycho while still lugging her heavy work bag, examines the side of this lady's car, and of course there's nothing there. Oh but the lady has a response for that : "I heard the *clink*. Let's just open your car door again." So Vicki inches out of the way, trying to open the door again around her bulky bag, and the lady jumps all over her, no patience whatsoever, "Cmon, just like you did [tone implied: hurry it up]" and kind of reaches over to 'help' like Vicki wasn't opening it fast enough, completely disregarding Vicki's (obvious enough that it shouldn't need explanation) observation that she was working around her bag.

Anyway she touches the door to the side of the lady's car, examines the spot...and *maybe* there were a few flecks of white paint off our car, which Vicki easily dusted off while she was wiping the dust off this lady's beater to try and determine if there was any damage. So there's still nothing there, and the lady gives up with this frustrated "Well let's just try to be more careful in the future, hm?" and Vicki and I walk away shaking our heads. As a postscript we had to hide at a table and pretend to be filling out a slip on our way OUT of the bank, or we'd've run into her at the door. Also when we got back to our car we noticed that she had moved her car to another spot, either like she was afraid we would open our car door into her car again, or (my personal theory, see below) b/c she was trying to "catch" someone else.

For all the fuss she was making I'm expecting to have to trade insurance information, so it was kind of anticlimactic. But the whole tone of the conversation and everything had Vicki and I pretty sure that she jumped all over it b/c she was really hoping that she could find something she could sue us over and was just trying to cover her frustration that there wasn't anything. I mean, was it a 'trap'? I doubt it, but I think she's just one of those people who's always on the lookout for something, anything, that might yield her a lawsuit. You know, like McDonald's not labelling their coffee as hot.

And it's not even like her car was a "take out once a year and spend five hours a day polishing it" kind of was a total beater. And Vicki observes (rightly, I think) that any potential "damage", we could have blamed on the second time when the lady browbeat us into opening the door on her car again. And I don't even see what she could get out of I said, what, a few dollars for paint? Mental anguish, pain and suffering? How is that even worth your time?
Current Mood:
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...with broccoli. It started out with: well what's the use of this, you can put it in soup I guess.

Then we put it into an onion quiche instead of our usual mushroom, and it was fantabulous.

And then we were wondering, well what else could we put into our lasagna. And Vicki goes, well broccoli would work really well. And that sounded good.

And then J was flipping through a cookbook this morning and shows me a picture of tortellini alfredo...and it has broccoli in it and I'm thinking hey, putting broccoli into the alfredo we usually make, that sounds pretty good too.

I wonder if you chopped it up small enough, if you could put it into manicotti?

Broccoli, I love it! It's the New Ricotta!


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(eating banana bread for FHE treat)

Me: Well the bananas were going so I went with that instead of my original plans
V (eating banana bread): You're not giving me a lot of incentive to eat the bananas.


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Current Mood:
oddly buzzed
Current Music:
Tam Lin
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